THE DAILY BEE: MUSIALA COULD MISS DER KLASSIKER

Good morning everyone! Happy Bavarian Crepes Day to all who celebrate. In light of everyone’s favorite holiday, I thought we could cross into Bavaria for some news:

Bayern Munich’s star youngster, Jamal Musiala, looks set to miss Der Klassiker on April 1st after limping off against Bayer Leverkusen on Sunday. The German has 11 goals and eight assists in 24 matches while being one of the Bundesliga’s standout performers. Now, his absence undoubtedly helps Borussia Dortmund’s chances in that match, but it’s unfortunate to see one of the league’s brightest young talents miss out on the season’s biggest game.

Bayern Munich still have a fantastic squad, with or without Musiala, and it’ll take Borussia Dortmund at their best to beat the Bavarians. Additionally, there are reports coming out of the Dortmund camp that the coaching staff are suspicious of Musiala’s potential absence and they will prepare the squad in the event that he actually does play. Regardless, Dortmund will go into Munich as the underdogs and the return of Kobel, Adeyemi, and Brandt will be a huge boost for the away side.

Out With One Stache, In With Another Stach

With Mahmoud Dahoud set to leave Dortmund at the end of the season, the squad is also set to lose its most iconic mustache. There are rumors swirling around the club’s hierarchy that those in charge are worried about the lack of magnificent mustaches. Understandably so, especially after a quick glance at Emre Can’s sorry and generic excuse for lip foliage. In an effort to make up for this loss, Sebastian Kehl has evidently sent out the club’s scouts to look for some ‘staches.

Unfortunately, Dortmund’s chief scout, Eduard Graf, and his team mistook this instruction to look for Stachs and have come up with Anton Stach, the 24-year-old midfielder from Mainz. The German has been one of Mainz's standout performers and has helped propel the club to ninth place in a competitive Bundesliga season. As Mainz’s ‘Number Six’, Stach is likely being seen as a replacement for Mahmoud Dahoud and Ozcan’s inability to play well. Could he improve the team? Not in terms of facial hair, that’s for sure. I mean, look at this:

Stach looks he went in for a slide tackle and has dirt caught on his upper lip. Now, compare that to this:

It just oozes class. Much like a Bavarian Crepe.

The Links

I’ve spent too much time writing about mustaches to read any additional news so have a photo of some links:

Please, no one tell the other writers that I keep reusing this joke to get out of additional work.

The Daily Buzz

What’s your favorite nonsensical holiday? Mine’s National Take a Wild Guess Day on April 15th. More importantly, how do you think Musiala’s absence will impact Der Klassiker?

2023-03-22T12:07:48Z dg43tfdfdgfd